Thursday, May 29, 2014

You Know You Live in India if...

Every time Matt and I encounter a typical Indian situation, I take for granted the fact that the situation is usually NOT typical/reasonable/expected to most of you. Matt's always saying "take a picture of that!" Usually it's something that I am numb to now, like the herd of goats blocking traffic, but I'm realizing that because we have been here for almost eleven months I am becoming immune to some (not all) of the every day craziness! So here it goes...

You know you've been living in India if...

1. You've named your un-welcome pet gecko.
This is Scar. He likes to scurry around the walls and leave his droppings everywhere. There was one night I had trouble falling asleep because he was on the ceiling directly above my bed. This is what I imagined would happen...

2. You expect a flood every single time it rains. This country could use some drains.

3. When the power goes out at work (an hourly issue), iPhones are used as flashlights so the work can continue.

4. You know how to use this:
It's a microwave - duh!

5. Your life in India has taught you that many common daily activities can be extremely dangerous. Thus you have no issue hopping on the back of a motorcycle-taxi in a foreign country.

6. While staying in a 5 star hotel, you find what is presumably a bed-bug.
(Please ignore the gross close up of my fingernail.) 

Here's his baby:
You may expect me to have freaked out about this, but I was surprised how much I didn't really care. I have had plenty of bugs in my bed, just not what I believed were bed bugs. That really helped to prepare me for this.  I just wrote a note to house keeping explaining that I found two bugs and would like them to change the bed linens. There was then a note on my bed...

Basically the only reason I told them was because I really just want extra chocolates on my pillow. Yesterday they gave us three! Who gives three chocolates when there's two people? I let Matt have the extra one. Talk about some serious first-world problems!

7. Dead cockroaches in your house don't surprise you.

8. You're used to doing your laundry in the bath tub because you expect the washing machine to only work 50% of the time. Hey, it's better than washing clothes in a mud puddle on the curb.

9. When you see a bizarre picture like this for sale at a hotel, you barely look twice.
Why don't these ladies have pants on?! And is it just me, or are those the dogs from Lady and the Tramp?
If you're interested in having this painting hanging in your living room, let me know and I'll check out the price next time I'm in Gurgaon! 

So there you have it...nine examples of why I need to get to the United States! 

I have one more thing to share with you. My friend told me about this picture and I think it's pretty accurate.

I sent this image to my parents last week and this is how they replied:
Mom: "That's so cute and true!" - Mom, I only went to the spa three times this week!
Dad: "I had to google the word 'expat.'"  Not surprised.

If you want some entertainment, take this quiz! First World problems an be a serious thing!


  1. My lizard was in the bathroom and his name was Milton. He was evicted after he broke house rules and had a party in there with a bunch of his lizard friends. I just can not pee while they stare at me!

    1. haha! I hope that Scar doesn't have a party. I did see he invited two friends last week, one which was pretty big but I haven't seen them since.

  2. I'm dying laughing over this post! I'm so glad you and Matt can find some humor in all that you are dealing with over there. Miss you like crazy and can't wait to see you, less than a month :-)